Freedom

A 25 year old client I see on Saturdays is dealing with a number of issues- today it was about her kids.  On the one hand they are the most important humans on earth, on the other- they are the bain of her existence. They are the symbol of her entrapment in this life.  She told me she is a "doer" and she needs to be spontaneous and adventursome and her young children hold her back from this.  She didn't wait, like the rest of her friends. She started her family early and there is no changing that now. There is only making the best of her not-so-planned-life, which gives her the feeling of being in shackles.  Because of her genuine love for her kids, this sort of honesty does not come easy for her.  Today she was flowing with resentment, confusion and sadness. 
I looked into her tearful eyes as she spoke about the "order" in which things have happened for her and the irony was almost too much to bear.  I sat there, as a 36 yo woman who has lived a free life- let the wind determine my direction for years and now feeling trapped by those decisions. Same issue, opposite direction. I have traveled the world, got an education, moved across the country and tried out several careers. I didn't take the time to settle down and start a family, like the rest of my friends. My imprisonment is the one associated with biology and while my client has to wait 14 years (as she has calculated) before she is "free", I wonder if my window of opportunity will be closed by the time I get there.  

I think that's it. For now.