A pat on the back.

I have been seeing a 4yo girl that I am incredibly attached to.  We'll call her Natalie.  Her mother's boyfriend (who she thought was her father) molested her.  There was DNA evidence. Now he's serving time and she is taking time to heal.  I have the pleasure of seeing this highly expressive, incredibly needy, terribly rebellious and ultimately adorable child 2x/week.  I look forward to these sessions almost like they are a playdate.  When her appointment is cancelled- I feel a loss. 

There have been quite a number of cancellations, which have mainly been due to family politics.  This client is part of a culture that prides itself on thier independence from the dominant culture, resisting assimilation, essentially - remaining off the grid.  The idea of bringing the youngest of the family to speak to an outsider about personal situations is abhorrent to them.  "They" consists of mother, grandmother and the big guy; grandfather.  Her uncle is currently the legal guardian and the one who is pushing for Natalie to remain in regular treatment, register her in school - in essence, taking the huge (unacceptable) leap into mainstream America.  They fight him every step of the way and the uncle keeps me regularly posted on his progress with them.  Some days he wins (she shows) and other days he is defeated (he cancels).  It can feel like we are TEAM NATALIE- working together for her safety, security and healing.  I should mention that I have met with each of these family members (aside from grandpa) who talk a good game about being on board, who have only Natalie's best interest at heart, and who ultimately become frightened of the unknown and work to pull her out.

Last week, the uncle was meeting with the Dept of Education to discuss her IEP (Individualized Education Plan).  This means that the DOE has evaluated for and acknowledged Natalie's special needs. I was notified about the meeting and arranged my schedule so that I could be present.  The uncle was pleased that I was attending and repeatedly expressed his gratitude (offering to bring coffee, breakfast, etc...).  The meeting started on time and was quick and to the point. I was happy to be there to show support. It wasn't until Natalie's next session that I understood the impact of this one small gesture.

The following day, as I opened the door to our waiting room, Natalie's grandparents were there with her.  They shook my hand, they gave me updates, they inquired about her treatment.  Natalie and I had our session and upon returning the uncle was there with the grandparents.  We all exchanged pleasantries once again, and this time the grandparents thanked me for my presence at the meeting.  Moments after returning to my office I received an email from the uncle. It had the tone of an excited little boy. He expressed the thrill of his father speaking with me, engaging, accepting.  He told me that my attendance at the school meeting so early in the morning and in the snow meant an awful lot to the family. 
I did it.
I earned their trust.
And apparently I did so by simply doing the part of my job I love, the genuine part. I'm not sure who was happier at that moment.
(big ole exhale)

That's it for now.